FUNERAL AND MEMORIAL SERVICES

Honoring the Dead and Ministering to the Living

A Christian Understanding of Death 

As Christians we are called to recognize the inevitability of death. But as a people of faith we also believe in the promise of an eternal life made possible by the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  For the faithful Christian, then, death brings only an end to our physical being.  At death, we spiritually "cross over" or "pass on" to another phase or dimension of our relationship with God, joining God in his "heavenly" realm or kingdom.  Jesus explained this well when he declared that "In my father's house, there are many rooms..." (John 14: 2-3).  In his own letter to the Corinthians, the Apostle Paul also eloquently described what lies ahead for us as a people loved and redeemed by God, declaring that death shall be "swallowed up in victory" (1 Corinthians 15:54-55) amid our new life with God. 

When a family member or friend passes on, the funeral or memorial service is, at one and the same time, an occasion for mourning and celebration. In the company of family, friends, and congregational members, we acknowledge our own sense of loss as we say goodbye to the loved one who has died.  Yet we also commend the person to God and offer God our thanks that death is not the end for those of us who live and die believing in Jesus Christ. 

When to Call the Pastor 

The pastor is not only available to officiate at funeral and memorial services but also to provide emotional support and spiritual guidance in the face of your loved one's death.  Please don't hesitate to call him or her in your time of need either at the church office or at his or her home.  As you meet with a funeral director and make funeral or memorial arrangements, you may also wish to have your pastor present.  Often, he or she can offer helpful suggestions based on past experience and our own United Church of Christ faith tradition.  After basic funeral arrangements are made, there can be opportunity for you to discuss with your pastor the kind of religious service that you would like. 

Where to Hold the Funeral or Memorial Service  

Many years ago, funerals were held in the intimacy of the family home and at church.  Today, almost all families make use of funeral homes and may or may not gather for a funeral service at church. Nevertheless, where the person who has died has been an active and faithful Christian, a church service is always keenly appropriate.  A funeral or memorial service at church not only affirms the ministry of the faith community to the bereaved family.  In a gentle yet potent way, a funeral or memorial service held in church can also remind us that even in the midst of death the shared life of Christ's disciples continues. This can be a comforting reassurance as we deal with our loss and say good-bye to someone we love. In addition, a church service usually provides more opportunities to include meaningful music with helpful, healing words. Families who request a church service for their loved one usually continue to hold "visitation" at the funeral home. The pastor may even be invited to offer a prayer at the funeral chapel on a evening in which family members and friends are gathered.  But on the morning of the funeral the casket is taken to the church in preparation for the service.  It is customary for the body to lie in state in the church for an hour prior to the beginning of the funeral service.  This provides further opportunity for family and friends to pay last respects. 

Funerals and Memorial Services:  Differences and Similarities 

In recent years, many people have chosen cremation over burial for themselves, as evidenced by the "Memorial Garden" for cremation remains along the west outside wall of the church sanctuary.  In some cases, individuals or families choosing cremation may still opt for a funeral service, making use of both funeral home facilities and the church with the body present in a casket prior to cremation.  Yet in other instances the preference has been to forego any presentation of the body.  Instead of a funeral service, a memorial service may be requested. Memorial services at church are conducted much like a funeral service.  In lieu of the body and casket, the family will often bring a photograph of the deceased to be placed on the altar or on a special cabinet stand moved to the bottom of the chancel steps where the casket would ordinarily be positioned.  If the "cremains" or ashes of the deceased are already available, their container may also be placed on the altar or "memorial stand" cabinet next to the photograph and a vase of flowers. The actual words of the memorial service are identical to those of a funeral service, except where reference is made to the body.